“Children in high-conflict families are like prisoners in a war zone. They will say and do whatever they think is necessary to survive.” (Eddy, 2012). Research has shown that prolonged stress can trigger the release of cortisol in one’s brain and body. Over time, this can create damage, especially in the developing brain of a child, to the corpus callosum, which helps the left and right sides of the brain work together. We also know that prolonged stress is often present in … [Read more...]
New Ways for Families: 2-Day Advanced Training
Presented live by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. International Speaker, Lawyer, Author Date: May 23-24, 2019 Location: Embassy Suites - Denton Convention Center Register Here View Brochure I was first introduced to Bill Eddy’s approach to understanding and managing High-Conflict people in 2008 when the Family Section associated with the Denton County Texas Bar Association sponsored a three-day live seminar/workshop presented by Bill Eddy on understanding High-Conflict people. There are literally … [Read more...]
Spring Social 2018
Members of the Denton County Collaborative Divorce practice group held their annual spring social February 8 at Barley and Board in Denton. It was a great turn out and great time for all who attended. … [Read more...]
2017 DCCP Annual Retreat
Denton County Collaborative Professionals enjoyed their annual retreat. See photos from our event. … [Read more...]
Contrasting the Perverse Incentive of Family Law and Collaborative Divorce
Recently one of our associate attorneys at Springer Lyle, Daniel Abasolo, wrote this blog that is critical of the traditional litigated divorce process because there are more incentives for attorneys to drive fees than to manage the case and reduce fees. Daniel makes the case for the collaborative divorce process and the incentives for the attorneys to work toward helping the clients to settle the case and reduce conflict rather than promote it. Reducing conflict in a divorce enables the clients … [Read more...]
Looking for Sanity in Divorce
Can you find sanity while you are involved a divorce? Maybe not, but you can do some things to make yourself feel more grounded and less helpless. Without fail, I tell any client or potential client that therapy is the best gift they can give themselves as they go through a divorce. And I mean their own individual therapist, not a marriage counselor (that's a separate matter). For many of us, the cost of therapy may be prohibitive, but if you can afford it, therapy may be the only place where … [Read more...]
Divorce: Do You Want the MOST or What You Most WANT?
Media are filled with advertisements from lawyers guaranteeing to get you “what you are entitled to.” Lawyers, particularly trial lawyers, are highly trained to fight for these entitlements. Nowhere is that deemed more important than in the context of divorce. The reason is clear: spouses are splitting, and that means loss - loss of companionship, loss of teamwork, loss of time with children, and loss of money. Divorcing couples hear a seemingly unending stream of anecdotes about “paydays,” … [Read more...]
The Divorce Map
The "divorce map" to the right shows the basic legal path from the beginning to the end of a divorce. To begin with, a divorce is a lawsuit. The lawsuit is started by filing a petition. It ends when the judge signs a decree. After one spouse files the petition, the other spouse must be given notice of the lawsuit. The "papers" can be formally served on him or her, or they can be delivered more informally and the spouse can waive service or have his or her lawyer file an answer. Next, … [Read more...]
Closing Documents for Transfer of Vehicles and Real Property in Texas Divorce Decrees
The typical Texas divorce should include the award of all property and debt with specificity. Personal Property that is evidenced by a “title” such as a motor vehicle or manufactured housing, or a deed for Real Property consisting of land and improvements thereupon such as a house, should be specifically listed in the decree with full and complete legal descriptions and/or identification numbers. For real property, full and accurate descriptions that are as complete and as used in the original … [Read more...]
Don’t Choose the Ugly Path for Divorce—Choose Collaborative
When a marriage is over, it is often a time for things to get ugly. Sometimes, very ugly! Almost every adult Texan has seen such ugly scenarios play out at some point in their lives. The courtroom divorce can likewise add to the ugliness while the couple fights and picks over every detail and kicks and screams in and out the courtroom doors. No matter how you get to the divorce stage, you can still salvage an ugly situation from finishing ugly. Collaborative Law is a process that allows the … [Read more...]
Why Should Your Gay Divorce be Collaborative?
If you are reading this blog, you may be thinking, “How can lawyers start talking about gay divorce when the ink is barely dry on the gay marriage opinion?” Unfortunately, with the right to marry comes the right to divorce, and gay divorces have already begun across the country. As a family lawyer, I worry that my LGBTQ clients have had such a struggle clarifying their fundamental right to get married that there has been little to no focus on what happens when a marriages does not last a … [Read more...]
The Emotional Task of Divorce
Emotions During Divorce The decision to end your marriage is not just a legal proceeding, but an emotional task that will influence the agreements you make and determine the outcome of your divorce settlement. While different people experience their feelings in different ways, most would agree that the loss of any important relationship will result in an emotional response that could be as severe as that of a death in the family. Although this response is normal, the result is often distorted … [Read more...]
Keeping An Uncontested Divorce Through The Collaborative Process
Divorcing couples who want an uncontested divorce, but simply cannot agree on every detail, normally turn to the ugly side of divorce in litigation. But the noble side of keeping it uncontested can still be achieved through the use of collaborative law. One of the key goals of the collaborative method is to have a more positive outcome for the splitting couple, and this is accomplished by working toward a settlement agreement without resorting to court hearings and court orders at every step. … [Read more...]
Privacy – An Often Overlooked Benefit of Collaborative Law
Proponents of the collaborative law process often discuss reasons to use the process when they are talking to clients or prospective clients. They frequently mention potential cost savings, the ability to maintain control of the process and agreements related to the process, the ability to minimize damage to their relationship with the other party, learning to communicate better by going through the process, and so on. However, one benefit of collaborative law that often goes undiscussed, or … [Read more...]
Comparing Collaborative Law to Litigation
It is difficult to determine whether collaborative law is the right choice for obtaining your divorce if you have never been a party in a contested lawsuit. Litigation has common threads regardless of whether the case is one involving divorce, breach of contract, products liability or medical malpractice. All litigated cases have scheduling orders that require certain things to be done within a specified period of time. These include but are not limited to, written discovery, depositions, … [Read more...]
Max Meets Emma
Max Meets Emma - Learning about Blended Families from a Basset Hound’s Perspective By Jennifer Leister, LPC Having taught elementary school for 20 years, I have seen so many children struggle with their parents’ divorce and remarriage. I know even small changes can “rock a child’s world”. Max Meets Emma helps explain, through a Basset Hound’s eyes, how two families can blend into one new family. It is a wonderful story about new relationships, diversity and harmony. The illustrations … [Read more...]
Rules of the Divorce Game
Honorée Corder is a Texan who author of a number of books, including her newest, “If Divorce is a Game, These are the Rules.” During her own divorce, she had the same experiences that most divorced or divorcing people experience, and from that experience she learned some techniques that will be helpful in some way to nearly every divorced or divorcing person out there. With insight and humor, she can offer healing and hope to anyone who finds themselves in this situation, and she offers family … [Read more...]
Financial Concerns/Fears Surrounding Divorce
When asked ‘how healthy is your financial future’ what comes to mind? Are your thoughts more positive or negative in nature? Have you ever wondered why when making financial decisions you choose to take time to think it through verse rushing into a decision? And even then sometimes you still are unable to make a decision! Your financial concerns/fears can stop you dead-in-your-tracks and can even jeopardize your financial success. Financial decisions are a cognitively based process and … [Read more...]
Representing Yourself in a Family Law Case: Think Twice!
After years of practicing family law, I have rarely seen a family law case where people representing themselves did not end up in future lawsuits. The problem is that those future lawsuits can be costly and cost more than if the person had hired an attorney to begin with. When a family law case is filed, the law requires that the opposing party be served with the lawsuit. This can be accomplished in several ways. Once a person is served with the lawsuit, they have a limited number of days to … [Read more...]
Creating a Post Divorce Budget
& Why that is Important Prior to the Divorce Being Negotiated Have you ever tried to pack your suitcase not knowing your destination, how long you will be gone and what the weather conditions are going to be? Difficult to say the least, to know what you need to pack and how many items you might need to take along on your trip. Going through your divorce without thinking about your future financial ‘game plan’ is exactly the suitcase scenario. Are you willing to just wing it? What are … [Read more...]
We’ve decided to get a divorce – when and how do we tell the kids?
If you’re reading this article, chances are that you and your partner have decided to divorce and you are wondering how to tell your children with the least amount of upset possible. While your pre-schooler may not have ever heard of the word divorce and probably will not have any idea what this means, your school-age child will more than likely understand that this means the ending of their parents’ marriage. Regardless of their age, your children will have questions and may experience some … [Read more...]
Three Characteristics of Parents who Negotiate a Successful Parenting Plan
Many parents get stuck arguing about Custody and Visitation. That is probably no surprise. It’s a difficult time for everyone. Usually one or both parties are feeling hurt or betrayed. They are in the midst of a great change and loss. Their financial and emotional resources are low. And the topic is perhaps the most sensitive topic for any parent - it’s about providing for their children and protecting them from the worst part of the family’s reorganization. It is actually amazing that more … [Read more...]
Collaboration, Mediation or Litigation?
Clients often seem to feel like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, when they hear these three terms. Remember, Dorothy was overwhelmed with confusion, repeatedly chanting, “Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my!” The Denton County Collaborative Professionals want to explain the differences in these processes so that clients, or potential clients, do not feel so overwhelmed and confused. Litigation: Litigation is the name of the process where parties file a lawsuit against each other and attend … [Read more...]